Day 3

Today was hardest of all. It started out with me being exhausted yesterday evening, but not going to bed until around 10:45. When I had just fallen into my slumber a peeping cry sounded through the monitor and I quickly got up, with Kevin to follow at 12:30. We got him fixed up (paci) and then headed back for bed. I was praying that was the last I'd here from him till 6ish. Well as luck had it, our little boy who had a hard day of naps the day before (going to a new place is hard work) woke up at 3:30ish, then at 4-which I just stayed in his room. Best idea I had was to put a twin in his room!! :) Well by 4:30 when he voiced again-just louder-I got him up to feed. Boy he was hungry!! Haha...I could barely keep my eyes open! We feed and changed our clothes-he laughed and smiled. It was a jolly time-until I got the boogie sucker...which he actually did pretty good on!! Once I got him settled I rocked him and watch his pretty blue eyes, that are turning greenish I think, fall asleep. I quickly started to cry. How was it that I could leave this little boy for someone else to "raise". How could I bother his sleep later to take him to a place he doesn't know? I got up from the rocker and put him in bed and snuggled close to him. His smell is heaven sent. I didn't want to get up...I wanted to lay with him all day!!

I quickly came back to reality and got up to get ready for work. We left the house, a bit late, but nevertheless we left. I got about five miles down the road and the tears started to fall..When I wiped away the salty water the glare of red and blue were brought to my attention. I was getting pulled over..how could this be today of all days. I just wanted to get to work to get my day over with so I could pick up my baby. I pulled into a subdivision and got my licences and registration out. The tears by now were falling. I rolled down my window to let the cold air draft in, and began to hysterically cry.
"Mam, good morning"-officer
"Good morning sir, I'm m m s s sorry"-me (crying trying to catch my breath to talk)
"Mam, its ok"
"I know, I'm just taking my baby to day daycare"
"Awe, first one?"
"Y, Yes sir" (first time Ive ever been nice to an officer by the way and even called him sir more than once)
"Well I have 3 little girls, you'll be ok, I know its hard"
"I kno know"
"You need to be strong for him though"
"JUST TEARS AND SNIFFS, I will"
"Well, just know its 55, not 65 out here in the country, and be safe for that little boy"
"Yes, sir, thank you"

First time I've ever cried in front of a cop, first time, Ive ever truly meant what I said to a cop, and the first time I've gotten a cop from even looking at my insurance or drivers license.

I got to school tear free from then on, and put on my mommy panties to take him inside his daycare. I placed him in a crib since he was asleep and walked out the door. I made it to the car before I allowed myself to cry again.

I arrived at school to greet my kids and welcome them back from Christmas. I truly love the teaching field-however I miss my baby.

I pray today he is geared up after school so I can see him/play with him tonight. We are going to try our best to get into bed by 9:00. Keep your fingers crossed.